99: How to set boundaries with Clinical Psychologist Dr. Rebecca Ray
You know what no one talks about with PCOS? The freakinâ mental and emotional strain it puts on you.
Thereâs information for yonks about how to remove those pesky dark hairs, lose stubborn weight, reduce and remove acne, grow back the hair youâve lost, get your periods back and regular, trying to conceive but no one talks about the non-tangible problems that come along with it.
The depressive episodes because nothing is working, the negative self talk and self loathing, the overwhelm of trying to make changes, feeling judged others about always making lifestyle changes, trying to be perfect and on top of everything 24/7, getting everything done, feeling like you canât stop judging yourself and looking at whatâs gone wrong, feeling like you do waaaaay more than everyone else and yet they get better results than you, wondering if itâs just you, this is the way itâll always be and itâs your fault.
Living with PCOS is draining when itâs out of control. Even when you are more on top of the physical symptoms, it can feel like an uphill battle sometimes.
Most times I speak to patients, the hardest thing isnât knowing what to do, it’s actually sticking to habits, maintaining boundaries with themselves and others and not getting bogged down with trying to be perfect all the time.
Enter the fabulous Dr Rebecca â a pilot turned clinical psychologist who has been through her fair share of struggles with self-worth, fear of judgement, feelings of failure, not feeling good enough and ineffective boundaries. Dr. Rebecca has dedicated her career as a psychologist to helping people, especially women, understand their worth and power, building a life with firm but flexible boundaries to help them align with their values and goals.
Judgement, fear, hopelessness, lacking self-worth, body image issues and poor boundaries are all things that can derail the great potential we have to get on top of our PCOS.
And like I said, the actual âdoingâ bit is really hard so letâs talk about it!
In this episode of The PCOS Nutritionist Podcast, Dr. Rebecca and I talk about all things boundaries, effectively setting habits, respect, lifestyle change, perfectionism, protecting your peace, kindness, self compassion and judgement.
Itâs a must listen â consider this your on-the-go habit and boundary guide!
This episode is for you if:
- Youâre feeling overwhelmed on your PCOS journey
- You donât feel like those around you respect your choices and changes
- You are the person that gives to everyone but you donât feel like you have anything left to give for yourself
- Judging yourself and self-loathing is a habit youâd like to get out of but you donât know how to
- Youâd consider yourself a Type A person and/or a perfectionist
- You are keen to implement more kindness towards yourself and self compassion but donât really know how to
- You want to establish better boundaries with yourself and others
- Others are judgemental about the lifestyle changes youâve made for your PCOS and youâre not sure how to address these without being offensive, rude or causing drama
Some things we cover in this episode:
- Dealing with the opinions or disapproval of those around you on lifestyle changes
- How to set boundaries around what you will and wonât tolerate from others about your PCOS journey
- Setting boundaries with people you live with
- How to identify if self sabotage is a type of inner dialogue we’re having and what you can do about it
- Tools you can implement to address the fear of being judged as well as judging yourself
- Why perfectionism happens and why itâs so dang hard to get out of that mindset
- Approaching tasks that feel âtoo hardâ and dealing with feelings of overwhelm
- Self compassion and simple, actionable ways to incorporate more self compassion and kindness towards yourself (when it feels so far from how youâre currently feeling about yourself)
- Balancing lifestyle changes while leading a busy lifestyle
- Top 3 things to help you establish better boundaries with yourself and others
Resources and References:
- Dr Rebecca Rayâs website
- Rebeccaâs âSetting Boundariesâ book and her other books
- Dr Rebeccaâs Instagram
- My Book: Getting Pregnant with PCOS